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Friday, 13 November 2015

Socionics Relations #2: The 'Meh' Ones

In Socionics, each type is thought to have a certain, set relation to each other type, resulting in 16 separate relations and 136 possible pairings to be had between people of specific types.

Previously, I focused on the relationships that take place within the same Quadra. In this article, I will focus on the four relationships that are not as nice, but also are not too bad. These are the 'Meh' relations that people aren't crazy about, but don't really mind either. Such relations always take place between adjacent Quadras, where some values are shared and other values are not, leading to a partial mismatch.

As before, there are two value dichotomies:
  1. Uniting together under shared structures vs. staying independent with individuals we trust. 
  2. Accepting and exploring reality vs. rejecting and fighting to change reality.
Each of these 'Meh' relationships are going to share one of the above, but not share the other. Consequently, the relationships have a level of misunderstanding, but also a level of familiarity. They simply are middle of the road.

Kindred
In this relation, the two types share the same energy levels, but only half the values and half the strengths. Specifically, they share the same Accepting functions (those which come first and set one's needs). As such, Kindred tend to be very similar in their basic assumptions about what they want, usually agreeing on fundamental things and enjoying each other's similar attitudes. Kindred are can come across as similarly minded in a conversation about the things they find important, and will often follow a similar sort of pattern in life, primarily aiming for the same things. This means that friendships of this relation can start quickly and be maintained reasonably well. However, Kindred do not share the same Producing functions (those which come second and are utilised to fulfil one's needs). On the contrary, the means by which each member of the Kindred relation goes about meeting their own needs can be alien and off-putting to the other. In this way, there can be misgivings between these types, with them feeling that the other person is like them when discussing motivations, yet noticing that they regularly go about ways of achieving these same needs in a 'wrong' or unseemly way. Furthermore, any criticisms they may make of these methods will be rejected by the person as unimportant. However, because Kindred are otherwise rather similar types, they do not tend to expect help from each other, and so are less likely to be personally let down by the other person's approach. The Kindred relations are: ILE-IEE, SEI-SLI, ESE-EIE, LII-LSI, SLE-SEE, IEI-ILI, LIE-LSE and ESI-EII.

Semi-Duality
For this relation, the two types contrast in their energy levels, with one being the proactive Energiser while the other is the reactive Integrator. In this way, Semi-Duals tend to complement each other. Specifically, they complement each other in terms of valuing the same Accepting functions, while being strong in these areas of need where the other is weak, and as such, can provide mutual help and assistance in satisfying needs and motivations. They can be of great mutual benefit, providing what the other Semi-Dual needs, and vice versa. In this way, Semi-Duals are very much like Duals. However, Semi-Duals are the opposite regarding their Producing functions, which differ in their values, but are the same in their strengths. For this reason, Semi-Duals do not go about satisfying each-other's needs in a manner that is comfortable for each other, providing what they need but not in the way that they especially like. This is most apparent in the area of each type's aspirations and conceits. Rather than mutually humouring each other, Semi-Duals will be unresponsive, not going along with supporting the areas the other wants to lead but needs help in. Instead, they will only focus on taking on the other's primary need. For this reason, Semi-Duality is a relation of mutual fulfillment of the necessities, but also a mutual awkwardness that does not easily go away. The Semi-Duality relations are: ILE-SLI, SEI-IEE, ESE-LSI, LII-EIE, SLE-ILI, IEI-SEE, LIE-EII and ESI-LSE.

Look-Alike
This relation is very similar to Kindred. Once again, the two types share the same energy levels, but only half the values and half the strengths. However, they instead share the same Producing functions (those which come second and are utilised to fulfil one's needs). As such, Look-Alikes tend to be very similar in their how they go about getting the things they want, usually coming across to others as very similar in their manner, essentially 'looking alike'. Look-Alikes tend to possess a similar manner or humour, and will often aspire to play a similar role in a conversation. As such, these types tend to find each other non-threatening and tend to maintain a form of healthy respect. However, Look-Alikes do not share the same Accepting functions (those which come first and set one's needs). On the contrary, when these two types are actually questioned on their motivations and the reasons for why they do what they do, the fundamental differences in how they view the world become apparent. In this way, Look-Alikes tend to be on good terms with each other, but are less likely to feel a connection on a closer basis, their basic assumptions opposing despite outwardly acting similarly. A useful aspect of this relation is that Look-Alikes willingly take charge of the unwanted societal roles the other usually has to do. In this sense, a partnership may develop of mutual delegation, that makes this a more helpful than enriching relation. The Look-Alike relations are: ILE-SLE, SEI-IEI, ESE-LSE, LII-EII, EIE-LIE, LSI-ESI, SEE-IEE and ILI-SLI.

Illusion
This relation is very similar to Semi-Duality. Once again, the two types contrast in their energy levels, with one being the proactive Energiser while the other is the reactive Integrator, leading to a kind of complementary relationship. However, they instead complement each other in terms of valuing the same Producing functions, being strong in areas of application where the other is weak, and as such, can soften and smooth each other's rough edges, mutually humouring areas of aspiration and covering up unvalued weaknesses. They can be very comfortable relations to maintain, making each Illusionary feel at ease without awkwardness. In this way, Illusionaries are very much like Duals. However, Illusionaries are the opposite regarding their Accepting functions, which differ in their values, but are the same in their strengths. For this reason, Illusionaries may be comfortable with each other, but do not mutually provide what is actually needed, leading to a lack of satisfaction overall. It is 'illusionary' in nature because each Illusionary is the Look-Alike of the other's Dual and so appears to be doing the right job while actually doing nothing of the kind. Over time, Illusionaries may feel that their seemingly good relationship is failing to hit the spot, and they may try to satisfy their needs from other sources. For this reason, Illusion is a relation of complacent comfort, but an ongoing lack of fulfilment. The Semi-Duality relations are: ILE-IEI, SEI-SLE, ESE-EII, LII-LSE, EIE-ESI, LSI-LIE, SEE-SLI and ILI-IEE.

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